38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize