You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize