I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
