You can't motorboat a personality
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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