I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
God I need to hump something, right now.
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