hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
