I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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