so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize