So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
