i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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