Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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