sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
