butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
