I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
