Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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