I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
