i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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