I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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