very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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