guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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