Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
