he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Is Oprah even human
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
