Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
