This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
