remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
