we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
