i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
