Swine flu. Run for my life!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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