Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize