He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
