I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
