New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
