It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
