I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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