their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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