If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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