He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
