Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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