if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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