That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Randomize
