I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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