We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
