I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize