I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
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