she woke up with a sticky ear
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
