His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
