that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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