he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize