did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Randomize
