I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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