You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize