She said her name was "party"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
