I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
