I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
