There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
