piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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