Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
