tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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