Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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