Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
