Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
