Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
