the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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