theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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