I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
