We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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