Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
