So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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