loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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