dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
