I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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