How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
